I've had it with that muthafucking Linux on that muthafucking computer. Linux may be a great command-line OS (like DOS used to be with my great ancestors painted cave walls) but it is absolutely abysmal as a desktop GUI os. Case in point. I have 1 Linux box. It's a Xubuntu box. Its purpose is one fold : Serve as a place for all my downloaded crap. It has 1 hard drive for the OS, and one shared hard-drive, called Q. No matter what computer I use on my network, I download crap on this drive so it can be accessed by all the other computers. The system itself runs TWO applications : aMule and Azureus. Those download various podcasts and p2p files and the like. The computer does NOTHING ELSE. I don't install ANYTHING else on it, in fact I rarely ever use it except for the very very rare, occasional firefox browsing whenever my other computers are off and I need to find something out quickly.
This computer runs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's never off. Once in a while, it will get abysmally slow. Fair enough, windows does the same thing. So I reboot it and everything is fine.
Every so often, when I boot it, it will only see half of my Q drive, the other half is just missing. For no reason at all. First few time I panicked, rebooted, and the other half was there. So it became part of the process. Reboot/verify/be happy.
Today it was running slow as it often does. I reboot it, and lo and behold, the Xfce title bar is gone, the task bar below is gone. Both Azureus and aMule run in the upper-left corner of the screen with no menu bar and no way to move them around or close them. Now if that had happened after I downloaded and/or installed a bunch of suspicious applications or some bullshit I would've blamed them, or myself.
Thing is, this computer DOES NOTHING, it just needs to BOOT for crying out loud. Is it really too much to ask that it doesn't break itself just by being plugged in the wall? I can only imagine what a nightmare it would be if I actually USED the damn thing.
Maybe replacing Ubuntu with Xubuntu was one of the greatest mistakes in my Linux life. Perhaps this underground branch of the Ubuntu core is just not well developed and supported. But since it was an older, slower machine it sounded like a good idea at the time. All I know is that I will toss out several hours of my life, trying to get this do-nothing computer to do it's nothing again. Oh well.
2006/09/17
2006/07/26
Fantasia : Conclusions
And so ends another Fantasia festival. 26 movies is a new record for me, from here that number can only go down. I cannot say I enjoyed this year's edition as much as the previous one. The main reason being the terrible seats at the Hall Theater, which led me to create my new "butt-factor" rating modifier for every movie I've seen. It's bad enough that the seats were terrible, but what makes bad really worst is that we were told last years that new seats were on the way, and that was not the case.
Now that my butt, and my brains, have had a chance to heal, I've devised my new rules for Fantasia.
1) Buy 10 movie tickets at most at the beginning of the festival. Buy the others halfway through if you feel you can handle more. Aim for probable sold-outs and must-see at the beginning.
2) Double-features are good, because you wait in line only once for two movies, but they're a real butt-killer. Make sure you put at least a day off between double-features, to allow time to recover.
3) Favor weekday movies to weekend movies. (I'm already downtown during the weekdays. Solves parking and transportation problems).
4) No more late-night Japanese soft-porn. In fact, no more late-night soft-porn. In fact, no more late-night or soft-porn. Porn is meant to be watched at home anyway, and for two years in a row I didn't really enjoy the soft-porn movies presented. So that's done. Exceptions might need to be made for late-night non-porn must-sees. But they should be exceptions.
5) Favor weird and funny over traditional and serious. As such, movies like The Bittersweet Life, Typhoon and Seven Swords would be sacrificed for the likes of Executive Koala, Funky Forest and Tokyo Zombie. Not always the right choice, I liked Typhoon better than Funky Forest, but it's generally better.
6) Check for alternate ways to see a movie before buying a ticket. For example, and The Descent and Bon Cop, Bad Cop, will both get standard theatrical releases soon. Death Trance is already out on DVD. It's useless to wreck your butt seeing them at Fantasia.
Now that my butt, and my brains, have had a chance to heal, I've devised my new rules for Fantasia.
1) Buy 10 movie tickets at most at the beginning of the festival. Buy the others halfway through if you feel you can handle more. Aim for probable sold-outs and must-see at the beginning.
2) Double-features are good, because you wait in line only once for two movies, but they're a real butt-killer. Make sure you put at least a day off between double-features, to allow time to recover.
3) Favor weekday movies to weekend movies. (I'm already downtown during the weekdays. Solves parking and transportation problems).
4) No more late-night Japanese soft-porn. In fact, no more late-night soft-porn. In fact, no more late-night or soft-porn. Porn is meant to be watched at home anyway, and for two years in a row I didn't really enjoy the soft-porn movies presented. So that's done. Exceptions might need to be made for late-night non-porn must-sees. But they should be exceptions.
5) Favor weird and funny over traditional and serious. As such, movies like The Bittersweet Life, Typhoon and Seven Swords would be sacrificed for the likes of Executive Koala, Funky Forest and Tokyo Zombie. Not always the right choice, I liked Typhoon better than Funky Forest, but it's generally better.
6) Check for alternate ways to see a movie before buying a ticket. For example, and The Descent and Bon Cop, Bad Cop, will both get standard theatrical releases soon. Death Trance is already out on DVD. It's useless to wreck your butt seeing them at Fantasia.
2006/07/23
Fantasia : The Great Yokai War, Executive Koala, The Five Venoms, Re-cycle and Zombie Self-Defense Force
The last Fantasia weekend was filled with a great bunch of movies. Here are my reviews, in even more express form than usual.
The Great Yokai War is a children's epic. It's from Takashi Miike and it is an absolute delight to watch. Great character and creature design, awesome mechanical design. In this story a young child is destined to save Tokyo, the capital of all anger, from an army of mechanical monsters created by combining trashed, but still functional, items with the souls of the Yokai. Chiaki Kuriyama (of Kill Bill fame) proves in this movie that no matter how ridiculous her outfit or hairdo, the camera still loves her, and so do I. Acting is usually good but fails at times. The ending really doesn't make much sense, but it's beautiful. 8 out of 10 with a butt-factor of 1.
Moving on to Executive Koala, the movie that had me laughing out loud long after it was done. Part Perfect Blue, part romantic comedy, it is important to note that although the main character is a Koala, he could've been human without affecting the scenario. The result however would have been less than stellar. Seeing someone bad tripping and going insane is something that can be seen in any other movie. But a Koala? Instant entertainment. 8.0 with a butt-factor of 1.
The Five Venoms is ranks as the second best Shaw Brothers movie I've seen. Finishing after last year's hilarious Heroes of the East but before the others. It's a Shaw Brothers movie. It's old and it's mostly good for the cheese factor. 6.0 out of 10 with a butt-factor of 1.
The sold-out Re-cycle featured lots genuinely scary moments. While seeking inspiration for her next best-seller, an author is propelled into a nightmarish world made up of all the things, and people, she threw away in her life. Old acquaintances, old toys, old secrets. All are there to torment her. Visually impressive, good acting, but a bit too predictable. 4.5 out of 10 with a butt-factor of 3.
Zombie Self-Defense Force would be my last Fantasia movie this year. Not exactly the best way to end the festival, this movie is a weird DIY zombie flick. Beginning with a strong anti-Bush, anti-American imperialism and yet pro-Japanese imperialism (Japan saved south-east Asian from occidental imperialism during World War II. Right.) Moving on to the movie itself. Lots of cheesy gore. Reminiscent of Bad Taste or Dead Alive, ZSDF lacks a good plot, good special effects and good acting. Like Dead Alive, it has a few good quotes and is entertaining for the gore and cheese factor. It has a pretty funny zombie fetus, which gives this movie a few extra points. 4.5 out of 10 with a butt-factor of 0.5.
The Great Yokai War is a children's epic. It's from Takashi Miike and it is an absolute delight to watch. Great character and creature design, awesome mechanical design. In this story a young child is destined to save Tokyo, the capital of all anger, from an army of mechanical monsters created by combining trashed, but still functional, items with the souls of the Yokai. Chiaki Kuriyama (of Kill Bill fame) proves in this movie that no matter how ridiculous her outfit or hairdo, the camera still loves her, and so do I. Acting is usually good but fails at times. The ending really doesn't make much sense, but it's beautiful. 8 out of 10 with a butt-factor of 1.
Moving on to Executive Koala, the movie that had me laughing out loud long after it was done. Part Perfect Blue, part romantic comedy, it is important to note that although the main character is a Koala, he could've been human without affecting the scenario. The result however would have been less than stellar. Seeing someone bad tripping and going insane is something that can be seen in any other movie. But a Koala? Instant entertainment. 8.0 with a butt-factor of 1.
The Five Venoms is ranks as the second best Shaw Brothers movie I've seen. Finishing after last year's hilarious Heroes of the East but before the others. It's a Shaw Brothers movie. It's old and it's mostly good for the cheese factor. 6.0 out of 10 with a butt-factor of 1.
The sold-out Re-cycle featured lots genuinely scary moments. While seeking inspiration for her next best-seller, an author is propelled into a nightmarish world made up of all the things, and people, she threw away in her life. Old acquaintances, old toys, old secrets. All are there to torment her. Visually impressive, good acting, but a bit too predictable. 4.5 out of 10 with a butt-factor of 3.
Zombie Self-Defense Force would be my last Fantasia movie this year. Not exactly the best way to end the festival, this movie is a weird DIY zombie flick. Beginning with a strong anti-Bush, anti-American imperialism and yet pro-Japanese imperialism (Japan saved south-east Asian from occidental imperialism during World War II. Right.) Moving on to the movie itself. Lots of cheesy gore. Reminiscent of Bad Taste or Dead Alive, ZSDF lacks a good plot, good special effects and good acting. Like Dead Alive, it has a few good quotes and is entertaining for the gore and cheese factor. It has a pretty funny zombie fetus, which gives this movie a few extra points. 4.5 out of 10 with a butt-factor of 0.5.
Fantasia : Typhoon and The Order of One
Typhoon is what happens when you take a James Bond or Tom Clancy story and use human beings as characters instead of one-dimentional cliches. That is what Typhoon is about, and although it is by no means a chef d'oeuvres, it works. One interesting note, the movie is actually shot in several languages including Korean (it is a Korean film), Chinese, Thai and Russian. And not just one or two sentences to look cool like any U.S.-made spy flick, but entire dialogs. So if you're into spy movies or political thrillers, look it up. It's worth it. 7.0 out of 10 with a butt-factor of 0.5.
Those who've seen Sinners and Saints two years ago at Fantasia will no doubt recognize the cast of The Order of One. And although the former had genuine funny moments and kickass fight scenes, it had a messy storyline with an artificial, pasted-on ending that didn't make sense. I can only congratulate this dedicated team of DIY Canadians for pulling off a movie that is better in every way. The Order of One isn't just appealing because of the cheese factor, but actually has a decent storyline, good dialogs and even better fight scenes than it's predecessor. Shot like an old kung-fu movie of the '70s, it even has cartoon bubbles naming every major kung-fu maneuver before it happens. Great stuff. 7.5 out of 10 with a butt-factor of 0.5.
Those who've seen Sinners and Saints two years ago at Fantasia will no doubt recognize the cast of The Order of One. And although the former had genuine funny moments and kickass fight scenes, it had a messy storyline with an artificial, pasted-on ending that didn't make sense. I can only congratulate this dedicated team of DIY Canadians for pulling off a movie that is better in every way. The Order of One isn't just appealing because of the cheese factor, but actually has a decent storyline, good dialogs and even better fight scenes than it's predecessor. Shot like an old kung-fu movie of the '70s, it even has cartoon bubbles naming every major kung-fu maneuver before it happens. Great stuff. 7.5 out of 10 with a butt-factor of 0.5.
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